Thursday, May 15, 2014

Throwback Thursday to 23

It has not been a month since I turned 24. Turning 24 did put a lot of pressure on me. A year older and should be a year wiser and I hope I am. I assure you I am.

Looking back on the year that was, I can say that 23 has been exciting for me. Really really exciting. It was a year of being single, carefree, (emotionally) independent, emotionally shattering and all kinds of roller coaster.

23 was the best year of my life yet. I felt most alive when I was 23. 23 made me feel how happy it is to be alive.

In 23, I learned gratitude. I learned contentment. I learned that you don't need a lot to be happy. I learned that meeting new interesting people makes your life interesting as well. I learned that to be really happy, you need a best friend who will support you in whatever it is that you want to do even if it may sound stupid because she trusts you enough to know what is correct. I learned to be understanding. I learned that it's okay if you don't have a lot of friends. Quality is always greater than quantity. I learned that having fake friendship will people is just as bad as wasting your time doing nothing or may be way worse. I learned that I can not put up with people's bullshit and to stand up on what I believe in. I learned to slow down. I learned to control my emotions. I learned to take things slowly. I learned to be cautious. I learned to be mature. The most important thing I learned when I was 23 was that we are our conscious effort to be who we are. We are who we want to be and we can be who we want to be by our conscious effort to be that person and that we should always continue to be the best version of ourselves. That the only person we should be better than is the person we were yesterday.

I used to think that people are born to be this person and she is that person because she is that person but social psychology explains so much on who a person is.

In my conscious efforts, I also learned how to be organized which is one of the things I'm most happy about. I am still not the most organized person in the world but I am better than I was before and I still try to be better than I am today. I will never stop doing this.

I learned how to be more uptight. Being uptight makes me happy. It makes me feel in control. I wish one day I will have to bid my carefree days goodbye and look back and see how much fun I had when I was younger. Sometimes I'm too uptight and worry too much that I worry for non sense things. This is one trait I wish to loosen up a bit this 24, to let go of the things that doesn't matter.

I also learned that when you want something, it is not enough to just want it because you have to get up and kick your ass to get what you want!!!! Wanting something hard enough is one thing and I admire people who are passionate and who wants to achieve their goals but acting on your dreams is another. This 24, I promise myself to start achieving these goals. To start materializing these ideas. I spent 3 years of my official grown up life learning and I think it is time to go and get it. I'm more ready for you than ever, dear life. I am no longer afraid to fall down because I know I will be able to get up and stand again. One of the reasons that was holding me back of getting what I want is because of my fear for failure and now the only fear that I have is not moving forward. My only fear is that I will stop having the drive to push myself.

There are so much more that I learned this year that it is impossible to list down everything but to cut it short, year 23 has been nothing but great. Really really great. 

Thanks, 23. For being awesome. I'm nothing but grateful.

<3

P.S. I also met this awesome person who has been nothing but amazing. Thanks, 23 for giving me that. 

xx,

Annie

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