Prediction for September

Two more days until September and already I am feeling so giddy about this month. September will be my "ME" month. I'm going to make it a point to really give myself importance and stop seeking for other people's approval. I want to go back to being my old self who was happy spending pretty much all the time with herself. I have been going out so much that-- this is kind of histrionic-- but I kinda miss myself. I know some people will think how is it even possible to miss yourself but I feel like I do. I need my down time or me time to keep me sane and I haven't had a decent "ME" time for 2 months.

My me time includes having to spend weekends at home alone and read books or not. HAHA Ideally, I want it to be spent that way. I love reading books and I'm in love with the idea of it but I never really get to finish my books anymore unless I get really excited about it and spend the next 4-8 hours really boring myself into the book until I finish it. Now that I recently bought an iPad mini, gave me MORE reasons to be in love with the idea of spending more alone time reading books while sipping a cup of tea in a secluded coffee shop.When in reality, I'll just be in my pjs lying down while reading ebooks and bugging my friend, Sarah, once in every 5 minutes maybe and falling asleep maybe 10 minutes after which is a complete fail. I can't even finish one book. I haven't even finished one book since that iPad mini laid in my hands. I'm either too sleepy or too tired for it so I really need to make time for it.

This month, I promise to focus on myself and with what I want to improve myself physically and i don't know, improve my attitude and outlook maybe? I won't lie and say I will do some meditations and yoga and other idealistic stuff to find "inner peace" because those stuff really bore me. I can only wish to be that girl who goes to yoga every after work to stretch and be flexible and be relaxed but I can't see myself doing that for now. I can't even stand one yoga class which is the reason why I hate it (for now. not closing any doors to it. I still want to be that girl.)

This month, the games will change. Since I read this book, my point of view changed so much. It made me realize what I have been doing. I'm not exactly saying that what I did was wrong because at that moment, it's what I wanted to do and how I wanted to play my cards but after reading this book, it suddenly changed my point of view and my perception about dating and guys or just about guys. Not necessarily dating guys but guys generally.

Year 2012 has been a little boring for my personal life and exciting for my career. I can say that this year just keeps getting more interesting. It had never been exciting and I'm looking forward to everything that will happen. One month at a time. Sometimes I hate myself for being so future oriented. Like I always worry about my future that sometimes I forget to live in the present. Sometimes I look forward so much into the future that it's all I do. Look forward to it. This month, I will make it a point to live in the moment so I can finally act on my dreams. 

Also, I recently did a social media cleansing (Sarah"s words) because I've been so hooked to it I didn't realize it was greatly affecting how I live my life. I deleted my wechat, whatsapp and line to decrease the number of social media platforms I'm engaging myself into. I left my viber because I still want to take a little advantage of technology and I think Viber is perfect because it's a little sucky for me to be addicted to it given that it ALWAYS crash and hang on my phone. This always happens and I'm not even exaggerating.

I would also like to share to you guys that law of attraction works almost like a miracle to me. Sometimes it's getting crazy! Even the littlest unimportant things I set my mind into happens! God is so good I'm so spoiled by him. I love you, God and I will never stop loving you. Alam mo yan! 

xx,

Annie

Exactly how Im feeling now.

When I first listened to the song, I felt like I couldn't relate to the song. I wanted to experience the road to THERE. I wanted to experience all the hard work and the experience and gain wisdom but now I just feel like this song is the perfect song to explain how I'm feeling. I'm just so tired and so out of sync. I feel like I just want to have fun and enjoy youth and life. I feel a sense of panic that I feel this way though. Need to get back on track.

xx,

Annie

Hello, World!

My inability to write posts for this blog is due to my inability to manage my time properly. I have 0 skills in time management.

If you follow me on twitter, you'd probably feel my absence in the World Wide Web. I used to tweet A LOT. Like a LOT but ever since I got so busy with work, I didn't even have time to check on my twitter. Weird for someone who used to be a twitter addict. I check my twitter when I wake up, when I have free time, when I'm bored, driving, stuck in traffic and before I sleep. So being absent there (twitter) only means that I have my plate full right now.

At the same time I lost time for my blog and twitter is also the same time I felt like I lost myself because this is what I loved doing. Sharing myself to my blog and rereading it when I have free time so I can look back on the times and remember how I felt on that special moment. I guess that's what bloggers feel that's why they feel so passionate (spend time) writing posts and publishing them.

I can only blame myself for what I have turned into now, a slave to my work and I am now a monster and I am not complaining at all because I tell myself that love what I am doing. I just get so burnt out sometimes for doing so much and stressing over work so much I feel like I don't even have time to breathe anymore and I know that I am the only one to blame because I failed to delegate tasks to my co-workers. I fail to train the people under me because:

1.) I assume they already know the task because they will only use their common sense (which is not the case. Apparently, you have to tell them everything they need to do.).
2.) I get pissed off very easily if I don't get the quotations I ask them to do right away so I tend to just do it myself.

Failure to delegate work is my failure to be a good manager since I am supposed to teach them how everything works but I still feel obligated to have to do everything. I like knowing everything from the start to the end but I am not perfect and I don't expect myself to be at a lot of places at the same time and it frustrates me, so much. Sometimes I let loose and just breathe but most of the time I push myself so hard.

I think I need to give more time to myself as I feel like I lost myself in the process. I know it's supposed to be hard for the first part of starting up a business but I know I should never lose myself while being at it because it's something I want to see myself doing in the long run and be happy with it and not continue to be the person I am right now who sends hate every morning or who spends hours complaining about how inefficient the workers are or how uncooperative my workmates are like I am so good at it. I throw a fit at almost everything and never do something about it because I just expect them to understand me that I am undergoing a lot of stress and pressure.

I want to make a good working environment for the people who works for me so that they will feel happy waking up working everyday. For now, that is my goal. In order for me to reach my goal, I must first solve my (internal) issues.

For someone obsessed with making lists, here is my list to my plan of being a healthier me. I actually don't have a list yet. :p Will work on a draft list but definitely going to start scratching off things to do on my list of 101 things to do in 1001 and definitely will work on my time management skills and also some organizational ideas.


xx,

Annie

PS: Missed doing this.

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Annie

Crazy Crazy

When was the last time I had free time in my hands to actually write something worth reading? I don't remember. But this one is an exception. I'm not supposed to blog right now, I'm supposed to finish the heaps load of work I'm piled with but instead I am here writing since I can't concentrate on work. I'm having a serious mental block right now. I do not know where to start because I'm just preoccupied with a lot of stuff right now. Plus I'm a bit pressured because my sister's coming over to check the works I should be finished by now. GAAAH!

Not that i'm not doing anything at work. It's just that there are so much stuff to do I can't even start with the other stuff I need to finish. :|

Blahblahblah totally ranting.

My best friend, Mallow came here to visit last Sunday to Wednesday and it felt like the best four days of my life. Eksaherada. Maybe I just miss having friends around. I miss going out at night and just hanging out. I am so burnt out from work lately.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Seriously?

I think something is seriously wrong with me. Took the weekend off by going to the beach with my friend Nica and her cousins but all the time I was dreaming of work. SERIOUSLY ALL THE TIME. I dream of work while taking my afternoon naps and at night I still dream about work. OMG.

It's not fun at all. :(

Busier than a Bee

With the rate of my business busy-ness (wtf I spelled busy-ness as business and realized later on that I spelled business. then I realized maybe that's why business is spelled like that because it's supposed to keep you busy.), I'm almost incapable to keep a blog anymore. I don't even have time for myself anymore! But I'm not in anyway complaining. I just wish time will fast forward to when my time will be stable and I know everything about my work already. How to operate the machine, what to do when there are problems, how to troubleshoot, how to balance the process, how to have perfect product, etc. Oh, and of course to be good in sales

These past few days had been the busiest days of my life ever! We've been trying to hit the deadline, which was the first day of machine testing. Overtime for 3-4 days. It was tiring but fulfilling that I can finally see what we've all been working hard for. Right now, our only problem is we are undermanned and when we are able to finally get enough competitive skilled workers, then we'll surely be able to work smoothly.

Yesterday was the plant's soft opening. First day of machine testing and everything went smoothly well but it was stressful since we don't have a systematic system yet. We have yet to work on that. OHH, I need a FREAKING secretary please!! FOR HIRE! URGENT! I'm not superwoman!! I cannot handle everything in the office and in the plant operation. I am most grateful for my sister's secretary who has been helping me take orders and fax documents to customers and I am also grateful for "my" employees who had been sooo hardworking and working their assess off every single day. My highest respect to all of them. They look 5 years more ngarag at the end of the day than when they come to work in the morning but they almost never complain.


We had food catered too yesterday from Roland's Store which was our favorite carinderia. Ate Rose, owner of the carinderia, big time carinderia, cooks food really deliciously!! The never ending Rico's lechon was present too and tasted so good. Never fails.

You think everything went smoothly so we were all happy but we're not because we received a very bad news in the afternoon. Ahia Steve (my brother in law/boss) received a phone call in the afternoon and his dad passed away. :( We were all shock and I can see in his eyes that he was grieving. So the family has to go home to Manila for the funeral. :( SO sad that this has to happen.

He passed away just after we operate the machine so Ahia Steve has a theory that his dad was only waiting for everything to be okay before he went away.. So sad. I know we aren't really close to each other and I don't know much about him but it makes me sad thinking about it. I can feel the grievance in the office right now. :( I know that Xiao Jie feels sad for the boss too.

As you are reading this, let us take a moment to pray for the soul of uncle Manuel Chu, may you rest in peace. My deepest condolence to the family.

That leaves me to continue the training by myself and I dont know why but I just don't trust myself with important things like this. I feel like I'm incapable to absorb everything efficiently. Like I will always do something wrong. I always have to quadruple (or more) check myself to see if I executed things correctly. I always check the job orders that I do gazillion times before I send them out and still check it every other time after I send it out. GEE! Good luck to me!!!

I can only wish for me to absorb and learn EVERYTHING before Xiao Jie, the Chinese engineer leaves for China. It doesn't help that he can ONLY speak Mandarin and I am not even close to being fluent in Mandarin. I wish that I can guess what he's saying at least 90% correct.

Hay life! No pain, no gain. Nobody becomes successful sleeping in bed. I'm so stressed I want to cry!

I'm wishing the Chu family to have a solemn and peaceful funeral for uncle Chu and may God bless him with his presence that his soul may rest in peace and may he watch over us with his holy presence.

xx,

Annie