Hello, World!

My inability to write posts for this blog is due to my inability to manage my time properly. I have 0 skills in time management.

If you follow me on twitter, you'd probably feel my absence in the World Wide Web. I used to tweet A LOT. Like a LOT but ever since I got so busy with work, I didn't even have time to check on my twitter. Weird for someone who used to be a twitter addict. I check my twitter when I wake up, when I have free time, when I'm bored, driving, stuck in traffic and before I sleep. So being absent there (twitter) only means that I have my plate full right now.

At the same time I lost time for my blog and twitter is also the same time I felt like I lost myself because this is what I loved doing. Sharing myself to my blog and rereading it when I have free time so I can look back on the times and remember how I felt on that special moment. I guess that's what bloggers feel that's why they feel so passionate (spend time) writing posts and publishing them.

I can only blame myself for what I have turned into now, a slave to my work and I am now a monster and I am not complaining at all because I tell myself that love what I am doing. I just get so burnt out sometimes for doing so much and stressing over work so much I feel like I don't even have time to breathe anymore and I know that I am the only one to blame because I failed to delegate tasks to my co-workers. I fail to train the people under me because:

1.) I assume they already know the task because they will only use their common sense (which is not the case. Apparently, you have to tell them everything they need to do.).
2.) I get pissed off very easily if I don't get the quotations I ask them to do right away so I tend to just do it myself.

Failure to delegate work is my failure to be a good manager since I am supposed to teach them how everything works but I still feel obligated to have to do everything. I like knowing everything from the start to the end but I am not perfect and I don't expect myself to be at a lot of places at the same time and it frustrates me, so much. Sometimes I let loose and just breathe but most of the time I push myself so hard.

I think I need to give more time to myself as I feel like I lost myself in the process. I know it's supposed to be hard for the first part of starting up a business but I know I should never lose myself while being at it because it's something I want to see myself doing in the long run and be happy with it and not continue to be the person I am right now who sends hate every morning or who spends hours complaining about how inefficient the workers are or how uncooperative my workmates are like I am so good at it. I throw a fit at almost everything and never do something about it because I just expect them to understand me that I am undergoing a lot of stress and pressure.

I want to make a good working environment for the people who works for me so that they will feel happy waking up working everyday. For now, that is my goal. In order for me to reach my goal, I must first solve my (internal) issues.

For someone obsessed with making lists, here is my list to my plan of being a healthier me. I actually don't have a list yet. :p Will work on a draft list but definitely going to start scratching off things to do on my list of 101 things to do in 1001 and definitely will work on my time management skills and also some organizational ideas.


xx,

Annie

PS: Missed doing this.