I will never ever ever ever allow myself to be treated like that because I have enough self respect to know my worth.
We accept the love we think we deserve. Anything less than we deserve is not worthy. Let go and move on.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Girlsgirlsgirls
One thing I cannot understand now is why girls stay with their boyfriends who doesn't do anything but to give them heartaches and heartbreaks. I mean is it not enough that they take you for granted? Like seriously? Why stay if the other person does not even show you that you are important and worthy? WHY? WHYYYY? HAHAHA Like I just want to get a rock and throw it to their head because that is exactly what they are doing to themselves.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Throwback Thursday to 23
It has not been a month since I turned 24. Turning 24 did put a lot of pressure on me. A year older and should be a year wiser and I hope I am. I assure you I am.
Looking back on the year that was, I can say that 23 has been exciting for me. Really really exciting. It was a year of being single, carefree, (emotionally) independent, emotionally shattering and all kinds of roller coaster.
23 was the best year of my life yet. I felt most alive when I was 23. 23 made me feel how happy it is to be alive.
In 23, I learned gratitude. I learned contentment. I learned that you don't need a lot to be happy. I learned that meeting new interesting people makes your life interesting as well. I learned that to be really happy, you need a best friend who will support you in whatever it is that you want to do even if it may sound stupid because she trusts you enough to know what is correct. I learned to be understanding. I learned that it's okay if you don't have a lot of friends. Quality is always greater than quantity. I learned that having fake friendship will people is just as bad as wasting your time doing nothing or may be way worse. I learned that I can not put up with people's bullshit and to stand up on what I believe in. I learned to slow down. I learned to control my emotions. I learned to take things slowly. I learned to be cautious. I learned to be mature. The most important thing I learned when I was 23 was that we are our conscious effort to be who we are. We are who we want to be and we can be who we want to be by our conscious effort to be that person and that we should always continue to be the best version of ourselves. That the only person we should be better than is the person we were yesterday.
I used to think that people are born to be this person and she is that person because she is that person but social psychology explains so much on who a person is.
In my conscious efforts, I also learned how to be organized which is one of the things I'm most happy about. I am still not the most organized person in the world but I am better than I was before and I still try to be better than I am today. I will never stop doing this.
I learned how to be more uptight. Being uptight makes me happy. It makes me feel in control. I wish one day I will have to bid my carefree days goodbye and look back and see how much fun I had when I was younger. Sometimes I'm too uptight and worry too much that I worry for non sense things. This is one trait I wish to loosen up a bit this 24, to let go of the things that doesn't matter.
I also learned that when you want something, it is not enough to just want it because you have to get up and kick your ass to get what you want!!!! Wanting something hard enough is one thing and I admire people who are passionate and who wants to achieve their goals but acting on your dreams is another. This 24, I promise myself to start achieving these goals. To start materializing these ideas. I spent 3 years of my official grown up life learning and I think it is time to go and get it. I'm more ready for you than ever, dear life. I am no longer afraid to fall down because I know I will be able to get up and stand again. One of the reasons that was holding me back of getting what I want is because of my fear for failure and now the only fear that I have is not moving forward. My only fear is that I will stop having the drive to push myself.
There are so much more that I learned this year that it is impossible to list down everything but to cut it short, year 23 has been nothing but great. Really really great.
Thanks, 23. For being awesome. I'm nothing but grateful.
<3
P.S. I also met this awesome person who has been nothing but amazing. Thanks, 23 for giving me that.
xx,
Annie
Looking back on the year that was, I can say that 23 has been exciting for me. Really really exciting. It was a year of being single, carefree, (emotionally) independent, emotionally shattering and all kinds of roller coaster.
23 was the best year of my life yet. I felt most alive when I was 23. 23 made me feel how happy it is to be alive.
In 23, I learned gratitude. I learned contentment. I learned that you don't need a lot to be happy. I learned that meeting new interesting people makes your life interesting as well. I learned that to be really happy, you need a best friend who will support you in whatever it is that you want to do even if it may sound stupid because she trusts you enough to know what is correct. I learned to be understanding. I learned that it's okay if you don't have a lot of friends. Quality is always greater than quantity. I learned that having fake friendship will people is just as bad as wasting your time doing nothing or may be way worse. I learned that I can not put up with people's bullshit and to stand up on what I believe in. I learned to slow down. I learned to control my emotions. I learned to take things slowly. I learned to be cautious. I learned to be mature. The most important thing I learned when I was 23 was that we are our conscious effort to be who we are. We are who we want to be and we can be who we want to be by our conscious effort to be that person and that we should always continue to be the best version of ourselves. That the only person we should be better than is the person we were yesterday.
I used to think that people are born to be this person and she is that person because she is that person but social psychology explains so much on who a person is.
In my conscious efforts, I also learned how to be organized which is one of the things I'm most happy about. I am still not the most organized person in the world but I am better than I was before and I still try to be better than I am today. I will never stop doing this.
I learned how to be more uptight. Being uptight makes me happy. It makes me feel in control. I wish one day I will have to bid my carefree days goodbye and look back and see how much fun I had when I was younger. Sometimes I'm too uptight and worry too much that I worry for non sense things. This is one trait I wish to loosen up a bit this 24, to let go of the things that doesn't matter.
I also learned that when you want something, it is not enough to just want it because you have to get up and kick your ass to get what you want!!!! Wanting something hard enough is one thing and I admire people who are passionate and who wants to achieve their goals but acting on your dreams is another. This 24, I promise myself to start achieving these goals. To start materializing these ideas. I spent 3 years of my official grown up life learning and I think it is time to go and get it. I'm more ready for you than ever, dear life. I am no longer afraid to fall down because I know I will be able to get up and stand again. One of the reasons that was holding me back of getting what I want is because of my fear for failure and now the only fear that I have is not moving forward. My only fear is that I will stop having the drive to push myself.
There are so much more that I learned this year that it is impossible to list down everything but to cut it short, year 23 has been nothing but great. Really really great.
Thanks, 23. For being awesome. I'm nothing but grateful.
<3
P.S. I also met this awesome person who has been nothing but amazing. Thanks, 23 for giving me that.
xx,
Annie
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
NOTE TO SELF
1.) Take nice photos and post it online.
I've recently reactivated my tumblr and this time, I want to be able to post beautiful photos that I personally took instead of just reblogging a bunch of other tumblr users.
One thing I regret the most this Laboracay 2014 was that I wasn't able to take a lot of photos. When I checked my phone for photos to post online, all I see are selfies of me and my friends and I don't think it is appropriate to post an album on social media with multiple pictures of yourself taken by yourself. That's just irk worthy. Although I am guilty of posting selfies on my instagram feed. hehe
2.) Look good to feel good.
I am guilty of going to work without trying to look good anymore because I mostly just sit my way through the day on my office table finishing my paper works and I just can not do this to myself anymore. I feel like I'm wasting so much of my potential sitting here but once everything's settled in the office, I will go out and have more productive days!
That is why I promise to make myself look good everyday so I'll be most inspired to have more productive days.
3.) Do something more productive.
Read #2 for work related activities and #5 for health activities.
4.) Go on a beach trip before summer ends.
I'm planning to hit the beach before the summer ends and I plan to go somewhere farther up north and catch the sunrise so that means leaving the city at wee hours of the morning so I can start the day right and go home early to end it right.
I just want to go to a secluded beach for some peace and relaxation. Do nothing. Think nothing. Clear the mind and take pictures (read #1).
5.) Be 100% into fitness and health.
I realized that if you're going to be into fitness, you can not be half hearted in it. It's either you're in or you're out and I decided that I will be 100% into it. Cannot wait to start exercising and clean eating again. I kind of deviated from clean eating ever since I got back from Boracay because of my I-will-give-myself-one-week-window-to-cheat emote and now I blame myself from being fat again.
6.) Buy a memory card for your cellphone.
I keep complaining on how bad the resolution of pictures taken from my phone is and how bad I want to upgrade my phone to an iPhone then last night, as I was talking to my friend, he said something about adjusting the settings of my phone to make the resolution better then boom! It hit me! I set the resolution to it's lowest setting (2.4megapixels) the last time because it was occupying to much space on my phone and I don't have a memory card so my phone always reaches its low memory alert. Sorry for being a cheapo! I will now invest on a memory card so I can take hi-res phone photos!
7.) Track expenses -again - and try to spend as little as I can.
It would've been shorter if I name #7 as save money but that is not what I am aiming for. I do save a huge chunk of my salary for my savings. I only get 10% of my salary to spend on whatever I want. I used to spend all of that allowance on whatever I want and just spend as long as it is within budget but now I want to track all my expenses and try to really look for cheap and/or free places to go to. Cheap food to eat and cheap hangouts. Okay I say cheap like it's a bad thing but what I mean is that instead of the usual hangout places we go to that serves 80 to 90 pesos for a bottle of beer, I want to try to go to less expensive places where we can get drinks for a more affordable price!
With that being said, I meant 7 eleven. Haha. Our friend, Stan is managing a 7 eleven owned by his family that's newly opened in City Time Square, in front of Parkmall, and already, we are claiming that place to be our tambayan where we can get cheap drinks!! 28 pesos for a bottle of San Mig Apple. Gosh. I don't think I can ever go back to paying for 90pesos beer (Politics)!!
I've tried tracking my expenses last April because my friend Ina introduced me to this app called SPENDING and I thought it was the best app ever invented for people who wants to see how they are spending. April is such a bad month to start keeping track because I spent a LOT that month. Like A LOOOOT that even I was shocked that I was capable of spending that amount on nothing. No major purchases. Just mindless spending. Don't get me started this May because I did not even bother to keep track anymore. I'll just start tracking by June. :p HEHE
7.) Track expenses -again - and try to spend as little as I can.
It would've been shorter if I name #7 as save money but that is not what I am aiming for. I do save a huge chunk of my salary for my savings. I only get 10% of my salary to spend on whatever I want. I used to spend all of that allowance on whatever I want and just spend as long as it is within budget but now I want to track all my expenses and try to really look for cheap and/or free places to go to. Cheap food to eat and cheap hangouts. Okay I say cheap like it's a bad thing but what I mean is that instead of the usual hangout places we go to that serves 80 to 90 pesos for a bottle of beer, I want to try to go to less expensive places where we can get drinks for a more affordable price!
With that being said, I meant 7 eleven. Haha. Our friend, Stan is managing a 7 eleven owned by his family that's newly opened in City Time Square, in front of Parkmall, and already, we are claiming that place to be our tambayan where we can get cheap drinks!! 28 pesos for a bottle of San Mig Apple. Gosh. I don't think I can ever go back to paying for 90pesos beer (Politics)!!
I've tried tracking my expenses last April because my friend Ina introduced me to this app called SPENDING and I thought it was the best app ever invented for people who wants to see how they are spending. April is such a bad month to start keeping track because I spent a LOT that month. Like A LOOOOT that even I was shocked that I was capable of spending that amount on nothing. No major purchases. Just mindless spending. Don't get me started this May because I did not even bother to keep track anymore. I'll just start tracking by June. :p HEHE
Monday, May 12, 2014
You gotta have bad days too
I'm usually in a happy bubble when I'm not pms-ing. I try so hard to be in a good mood everyday like it's my mission to live everyday as if it's my last. As soon as I open my eyes, my mind is focused on doing only the things that will give me good vibes and brush all the bad vibes away but today is not an ordinary day. Today is extra special because as soon as I woke up, I know that today is going to be a bad day and I know it will be.
I believe in law of attraction and I believe on how it works that is why I have accepted that today is going to be a bad day and I'm okay with it. I'm not going to do anything to try to make it better because you gotta have bad days too.
I'm thankful for the bad day that is happening to me today. It gives me so much rage and fire on how unhappy I am with things and is finding ways to find solutions and improvements. You see, being unhappy make me happy. How ironic.
Being unhappy leads us toward self improvement. My heart is filled with so much emotions that it makes me so unhappy and uncomfortable which only lead me to think "what can I do to improve this?" so today, I decided to take actions on a lot of things that makes me sad and mad. They maybe decisions made on a bad emotion which often is not the best time to make decisions but they are little decisions that are not life changing so I guess it's totally fine to act on it right away. LOL.
Ranting and being unhappy lead me to having a productive morning. Thank God for this. Definitely something to be thankful for.
Of course I will do what I do best on my blog, RANT. So I will list down my top rants of the day.
RANTS
1. Waking up late.
I can't believe myself for waking up at 8:15am. I just promised myself last week that I will start waking up early again this week and it's just the first work day of the week yet I woke up at a very unacceptable time. The latest I woke up on a work day this year, I think. Which explains how bad my mood has become. I am so unhappy with myself and is disappointed. I have failed my employers for being such a lazy ass and I have failed myself too.
2.Slow Cebu drivers
Cebuanos are just slow drivers!!!! I don't know what is it with Cebuanos and their driving skills but everyone from Manila noticed this too. My Cebuano friend explained that they are cautious drivers because the streets are small and that there are a lot of motor bikers so they drive slowly to avoid accidents but but but but I cannot accept this!! The lifestyle here is too laid back that it is manifested in their driving skills.
I'm kind of guilty because when I first came here, my driving skill was also affected. I became a slow and very cautious driver which my sister was so pissed at and my friends from Manila noticed too! Until now, I feel that I have semi adapted the Cebu driving style and I'm thankful for today because I will ditch slow driving and start driving Manila style. LOL. That's what I did today, honked at everyone who were driving so slowly blocking my way to get to my office faster because well... I was so late.
3. Unhappy with things
Personal things that I'm unhappy with that I wish I can publicly rant but I decided I wont because it involves feelings of people I love and I don't want to hurt them when they read it here. Besides, it's their way of doing things I'm very unhappy about and it's totally out of my business. Just being a bitch and bitching about all things available to bitch about on. I should just breathe in, breathe out and let this go. Now that I think about it, I also don't understand why I'm so pissed about this issue. I'm only killing myself by doing this. HEHE but you know!! The bitch has to bitch around. I pity the people who'll get involved in my emotional rut.
4. Expectations leads to disappointments.
'Nuff said.
On a lighter note, I'm back to clean eating and my fitness streak so everything should be fine. :)
On a lighter note, I'm back to clean eating and my fitness streak so everything should be fine. :)
xx,
A
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Boracay Food Diary
May 1
Breakfast at home
Omelette with mushroom and tomato
1 pc toasted bread
Lunch at the Cari Lounge by the bay
Adobo
Fish Sinigang
Rice
Refreshments at Starbucks
Iced venti white chocolate mocha because it was too hot and we were so dehydrated
Dinner at Frypan
Rolled egg.
Just rolled egg because the beef bulgogi was too eeww for words.
May 2
Breakfast in bed (Tapa King)
Tocilog in bed because the bff was too nice to buy me breakfast in bed.
Breakfast # 2
Buffet breakfast c/o hotel
Scrambled egg
Cereals with milk
half toasted bread
*okay. I ate more than what I can remember. For sure that's not just what I ate.
Lunch at Pamana
Sinigang
Pinakbet
Kare kare
Sugpo
Crispy Pata
Grilled boneless bangus
Rice
Dinner at Yellow Cab
Shrimp and garlic pizza
Spicy chicken wings
May 3
Breakfast at Andok's
lechon manok
sinigang
Dokito
rice
Refreshments
Mango shake from the hotel. BESTEST SHAKE IN THE WHOLE ISLAND IF NOT THE WORLD.
Mango ice cream from Mangoholic
Lunch at The Cari Lounge by the bay
Bopis x 2
Tokwa't baboy
Beef nilaga
Afritada
Left over from breakfast
rice
Refreshments at Crazy Crepe
Pistachio Freezee
Dinner at some Mexican restaurant in D'Mall
chicken fajita
calamansi juice
May 4
Buffet breakfast at the hotel
*I decided to follow my heart and eat to it's desire because heeey I'm going home.
garlic rice
misua soup
scrambled egg
hotdog
chicken and potatoes in gata which I loved a lot I had to go back for round 2
pansit
koko crunch and milk
Lunch at Tinderbox, Mactan airport
Pasta with sausage!! Forgot the name!
Iced cafe latte
Dinner at home
Alaskan king crab legs with lemon butter sauce
bacon flavoured lechon kawali with fresh garlic in oil
rice porridge in crab broth
rice (LOL at carbo loading)
Breakfast at home
Omelette with mushroom and tomato
1 pc toasted bread
Lunch at the Cari Lounge by the bay
Adobo
Fish Sinigang
Rice
Refreshments at Starbucks
Iced venti white chocolate mocha because it was too hot and we were so dehydrated
Dinner at Frypan
Rolled egg.
Just rolled egg because the beef bulgogi was too eeww for words.
May 2
Breakfast in bed (Tapa King)
Tocilog in bed because the bff was too nice to buy me breakfast in bed.
Breakfast # 2
Buffet breakfast c/o hotel
Scrambled egg
Cereals with milk
half toasted bread
*okay. I ate more than what I can remember. For sure that's not just what I ate.
Lunch at Pamana
Sinigang
Pinakbet
Kare kare
Sugpo
Crispy Pata
Grilled boneless bangus
Rice
Dinner at Yellow Cab
Shrimp and garlic pizza
Spicy chicken wings
May 3
Breakfast at Andok's
lechon manok
sinigang
Dokito
rice
Refreshments
Mango shake from the hotel. BESTEST SHAKE IN THE WHOLE ISLAND IF NOT THE WORLD.
Mango ice cream from Mangoholic
Lunch at The Cari Lounge by the bay
Bopis x 2
Tokwa't baboy
Beef nilaga
Afritada
Left over from breakfast
rice
Refreshments at Crazy Crepe
Pistachio Freezee
Dinner at some Mexican restaurant in D'Mall
chicken fajita
calamansi juice
May 4
Buffet breakfast at the hotel
*I decided to follow my heart and eat to it's desire because heeey I'm going home.
garlic rice
misua soup
scrambled egg
hotdog
chicken and potatoes in gata which I loved a lot I had to go back for round 2
pansit
koko crunch and milk
Lunch at Tinderbox, Mactan airport
Pasta with sausage!! Forgot the name!
Iced cafe latte
Dinner at home
Alaskan king crab legs with lemon butter sauce
bacon flavoured lechon kawali with fresh garlic in oil
rice porridge in crab broth
rice (LOL at carbo loading)
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