I still believe in love. Every girl does. I still wait for the one who will be smitten by my presence and who will do everything to sweep me off my feet. Right now, I may have lost all hope in finding the one but I still believe that one day, he will come to my life and let me realize why it never worked out with other people. The truth is there's a hopeless romantic inside me waiting to come out of its shell.
Someone who I will care enough for to hurt me and fight for. Someone worthy. I might be a little too idealistic but I know that one day I will meet him.
xx,
Annie
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
The one that got away among other things
For years, I thought that my the one got away was this guy I dated briefly when I was in college. In my mind, we were perfect for each other because he was everything I ever wanted for a boyfriend but the timing was wrong so it did not happen. He didn't exactly tell me he liked me. I didn't exactly tell him I liked him ether. I wish I can say that we both knew how we felt for each other but we never did. I am not the one to assume or jump to conclusion that a guy likes me just by frequently talking to me or asking me out. I'm a little insensitive and unless you tell me upfront that you like me, I will never know because I will never assume. So I never found out. Despite numerous invites out with friends and probably some dates, I never found out if he liked me back as much as I liked him. I never told him but if he was just sensitive enough, he probably knew. We stopped going out for inevitable reasons that i myself wish had control of but my emotions were always too scattered and all over the place that it was also hard for me to understand what I wanted so we stopped going out. No dramas. No anything. We just stopped going out like nothing happened. No heartbreak, no trying to move on. No real emotions were invested but I know that if only I (or anyone) was fragile enough to entertain those feelings, it would have hurt like being hit in the head with a hammer. I'm glad I didn't. I know that if I ever let that happen, it would have hurt me a lot because i liked him a lot.
Yesterday, I realized that that guy was not after all my TOTGA (the one that got away). The feelings were probably too one sided. I know I liked him but I didn't know how he felt for me. There were hints that might probably lead me to thinking that he liked me too but that would probably be assuming too much. It was unfair to him for me to assume something like that.
There's this close friend of mine whom I was so close to that it never occurred to me how compatible we were until yesterday.We were so compatible that it was probably hard for you to think that we weren't an item if you saw us together. Now I understand why our then boy/girlfriends would be so jealous of us and it was because the chemistry was undeniable and it will probably be too tiring to explain why we clicked but we just did. Writing this now kinda hurts my heart a teeny weeny bit. Like someone pinched my heart but not enough to give that much attention but the feeling is just there. I cant even think straight now that I think about it. You know how when you want to write about something and it was perfectly written in your mind how you want to type out the words to explain your feelings but when it's time to type it out the brain just go blank.
Maybe I'll write about this again when my mind feels less pressured. Maybe not. Probably not than yes but whatever. We were perfect for each other but we both got away from each other. This time we both knew what we meant to each other and maybe we were afraid to ruin what we had so we just let each other go because we chose the friendship over the idea of love.
Three years later, I realized that we would have been aperfect good match. The compatibility, you can not hide. It was just there. From what we liked, what we believed in, how we saw things, how we did things, where we went, how we felt, what we believed a perfect relationship was like etc etc. I know what he wanted and I can't say that I was perfect but I would've been.
He said not then but maybe next time. But maybe next time is not even an option anymore. The thought is not even worth entertaining anymore and that's that's where I realized why some relationships just don't work. Because people grow and they just don't fit anymore. Like an old favorite pants that you can't stop wearing until it won't fit anymore. Whatever you do, they just don't fit anymore.
People grow. People outgrow each other. People change because change is inevitable. What we liked before may not be what we like now. What was perfect for us then may not be perfect for us now. As people grow, we change and the only people who stays in our life are those people who loves us unconditionally, change or no change. Those who are willing to accept us despite everything. And this, my friend, is also why relationships break because we have expectations from who we want to be with and we find this person fall into mutual admiration with them and fall in love until one person changes and the other gets frustrated and they fall out of love with each other because they no longer fit the perceived expectation from the other person. (TO BE CONTINUED)
Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Lucky for those who found the one from their first relationship but if you are one of those people like me who got no luck, don't worry, you are not alone. We all feel you.
I'm single and I can't be any happier about it. I kind of cringe a little bit whenever I see people in a relationship especially those in long term relationships. I'm sorry to sound bitter or sound like a bitch but it's just that my idea of a perfect relationship just didn't match with my past relationships. The past 2 relationships I've been to was no different from each other. It's bad to badmouth an ex but I'm not writing to bad mouth them. I'm just writing to express and take off the load off myself. Probably move on from and learn from past relationships. One day, I will look back, read all these and hopefully learn from this.
(The writer is currently experiencing mental block.Please comprehend.)
Yesterday, I realized that that guy was not after all my TOTGA (the one that got away). The feelings were probably too one sided. I know I liked him but I didn't know how he felt for me. There were hints that might probably lead me to thinking that he liked me too but that would probably be assuming too much. It was unfair to him for me to assume something like that.
There's this close friend of mine whom I was so close to that it never occurred to me how compatible we were until yesterday.We were so compatible that it was probably hard for you to think that we weren't an item if you saw us together. Now I understand why our then boy/girlfriends would be so jealous of us and it was because the chemistry was undeniable and it will probably be too tiring to explain why we clicked but we just did. Writing this now kinda hurts my heart a teeny weeny bit. Like someone pinched my heart but not enough to give that much attention but the feeling is just there. I cant even think straight now that I think about it. You know how when you want to write about something and it was perfectly written in your mind how you want to type out the words to explain your feelings but when it's time to type it out the brain just go blank.
Maybe I'll write about this again when my mind feels less pressured. Maybe not. Probably not than yes but whatever. We were perfect for each other but we both got away from each other. This time we both knew what we meant to each other and maybe we were afraid to ruin what we had so we just let each other go because we chose the friendship over the idea of love.
Three years later, I realized that we would have been a
He said not then but maybe next time. But maybe next time is not even an option anymore. The thought is not even worth entertaining anymore and that's that's where I realized why some relationships just don't work. Because people grow and they just don't fit anymore. Like an old favorite pants that you can't stop wearing until it won't fit anymore. Whatever you do, they just don't fit anymore.
People grow. People outgrow each other. People change because change is inevitable. What we liked before may not be what we like now. What was perfect for us then may not be perfect for us now. As people grow, we change and the only people who stays in our life are those people who loves us unconditionally, change or no change. Those who are willing to accept us despite everything. And this, my friend, is also why relationships break because we have expectations from who we want to be with and we find this person fall into mutual admiration with them and fall in love until one person changes and the other gets frustrated and they fall out of love with each other because they no longer fit the perceived expectation from the other person. (TO BE CONTINUED)
Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Lucky for those who found the one from their first relationship but if you are one of those people like me who got no luck, don't worry, you are not alone. We all feel you.
I'm single and I can't be any happier about it. I kind of cringe a little bit whenever I see people in a relationship especially those in long term relationships. I'm sorry to sound bitter or sound like a bitch but it's just that my idea of a perfect relationship just didn't match with my past relationships. The past 2 relationships I've been to was no different from each other. It's bad to badmouth an ex but I'm not writing to bad mouth them. I'm just writing to express and take off the load off myself. Probably move on from and learn from past relationships. One day, I will look back, read all these and hopefully learn from this.
(The writer is currently experiencing mental block.Please comprehend.)
Lost Ideas
I had two blog post ideas when I hit log in but then my thoughts got lost like a heart drawn in the sand that got washed out by the sea when I tried to multitask. oh gosh. Me and my forgetful mind. Fuck this.
Friday, September 13, 2013
16 Things To Start Doing For A Day That Ends As Well As It Starts
“There is nowhere morning does not go.”
― Leah Hager Cohen
― Leah Hager Cohen
I’m not a morning person, but I will tell you, the way you start your day is the way you will carry through, and it will affect a lot of things. Honestly, I’m a sleep/nap aficionado and so before I actually started doing these things I wouldn’t even hear of it because nothing could be better than getting to sleep those extra few minutes. But it’s really not true. It’s just not. These little things are, I would say, crucial for starting yourself out on the right foot, and without fail, the more I’ve done them, the better I feel and the more productive I am.
1. Clean your living space every night. It personally helps me sleep better, but it’s also so much better to wake up in the morning and be able to focus on what needs your attention, not the clutter on your floor that you trip over while getting ready.
2. Clean your work space first thing in the morning. I am a big believer in the idea that the space in which you work affects not only the quality of it, but the quality of your day as well. Aside from surrounding your desk/wherever you work with little things that make it seem less like a cold cubicle and more like a cozy little alcove, the more you’re going to feel relaxed, and the more energy you’ll be able to devote to doing other things.
3. Lay out everything the night before. Pick your clothes and try them on, pack your bag(s), write down what you can’t forget for the next day so you can go to bed without them on your mind. Put out your coffee cup in the kitchen and lay your keys next to them. It takes seconds to do and could save you a huge hassle in the morning.
4. Expand on that list of things you need to do for the day. It doesn’t matter how grandiose or simple they are. Check them off as you do them. It makes you feel accomplished, and gives you more motivation to keep going.
5. Wake up earlier, obviously. I personally do it because it gives me time to do things like have breakfast in bed while reading something. It sounds so luxurious and privileged but it’s really not, it’s just a matter of having enough discipline not to hit snooze again and being able to infuse your life with the beautiful little things that should happen more than once in a while.
6. Open your blinds and curtains before you go to bed, so the sun comes through in the morning.
7. Turn off that horrid beeping alarm on your phone and make it your favorite song, or something else that’s more peaceful and less jarring than “Alarm” on your iPhone.
8. Actually get enough sleep to not be miserable in the morning.
9. Stop taking electronics to bed. You look at them all day every day. It’s time to give your brain and your eyes a rest. Read books that aren’t electronic. Just lay there and breathe out the crappy things that happened that day. Learn how to calm yourself down enough to lull yourself to sleep.
10. Drink a glass of water when you first wake up.
11. Make your morning routine more efficient. 2-in-1 products, hairdryers that are a higher voltage, big fluffy towels, a simple makeup routine so you can be in and out of the bathroom in 5 minutes. I suppose this applies to women more than men (or some men, I don’t judge) but overall, any makeup/hair routine that takes longer than a half hour in the morning probably isn’t worth it.
12. Move around. An intense workout is not feasible for all of us. Seriously, getting up hours earlier than you would to go to the gym just isn’t something everyone can manage doing. But you can stretch yourself out on the floor. You can take 10 minutes to go for a walk and pick up coffee if you feel like you need a reason to do so. You may call it pointless but it’s not. It gets you moving.
13. Be excited for something at the end of the day. Make plans with a friend or for yourself, look up a new recipe for dinner or plan to make an old favorite, or even just promise yourself a big glass of wine when you get home. It’s something to keep you moving even as your energy slows down with the day.
14. Always check the weather. I have an app that texts me if it’s going to rain, and at what time. Figure it out the night before and pack your umbrella.
15. Take off your headphones on your commute and talk to people, or sit with yourself, or read a book, if you aren’t driving of course. I’ve tried this and I find myself so much calmer and happier if I do so.
16. Do little things to make other people happy. Leave your partner coffee by the side of the bed. Text people good morning. Today my little brother came by the side of my bed and sighed and said well, I’m leaving for the day, I have to go to pre-school, so I’ll see you tonight, and he kissed my face like four times. It was the best wake up anybody could ask for. 
Copied and pasted here for my future reference since I found this very useful! Original article from Thought Catalog.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Last Week: First week of September
I made a pledge to myself to LIVE. I refuse to just exist. So starting thi sSeptember, I will make sure to make my life more interesting than how I have lived my life for the past 23 years. I want to try new things and gain a lot of experiences. I want to live a "YOLO" (You Only Live Once) life. Not that I'll be wasting my time getting drunk on alcohol and being wasted not remembering how last night went but I will grab at any chance to LIVE.
This relates to all aspect of my life be it personal, work, social, physical, emotional, psychological, etc etc. My point is that I want to live and try everything before the time comes that I won't be able to do these things anymore. What age more appropriate to do these stuff than now.
I will list down the things I did weekly here in my blog so that one day I can look back and remember what i did in the past and if I was content with the things I did or what else I wanted to do to stop living a routinary lifestyle.
Last week
Sunday (August 25) - Had lunch a Cafe Sarree with the family and impromptu photoshoot. We took a lot of photos that were so nice it made my heart so happy! Had champorado for snack!
Monday (August 26) Bruncher (Breakfast, lunch and dinner) with the family at Tinderbox. Ordered so much that we were surprised with the bill. Went to look at the lot for the future house! The view was breath taking we were all so excited to move to the new "place". We are a little bit too excited because the lot is not even for sale yet.
Tuesday (August 27) - Went out with my client from Manila. Ate dinner at Phat Pho then drinks at Barcode. Saw my friend whom I haven't seen for a year.
Wednesday (August 28) - Went out with the same client for drinks because he had dinner. Had facial appointment and while killing time I decided to have my hair cut. Drinks at Politics.
Thursday (August 29) - Met up again with my client. It's his last night tonight! Had dinner at a cafe. Ordered my ever favorite Buttermilk Fried Chicken with biscuits and gravy. I swear to the constellations that this is my ultimate favorite food as of the moment. We were also with my client's steel supplier. Drinks at Distillery after. By this day, I was already super tired from all the going out at night that I was really tired and sleepy already at 12mn and after 2 amaretto sours. I love amaretto sour! Distillery have pretty nice amaretto sours.
Friday (August 30) - Stayed home to get my much awaited rest night. Slept early!
Saturday (August 31) - Dinner at Mr India with Emmie, Stan, Vanna and JV plus Jon this time. Went to La Vie Parisienne only to find that the place was full so Emmie just bought pastries and we went to IT park to look for a place. All the other places were full and we ended up in Irie. Had one drink before I met up with Val. Val and I went to Dozo to get my new favorite drink, the GPS! We wouldve went to Cable car but the place was packed. Went home at 1am because we wanted to just chill and we're not up for staying out too late.
Sunday (September 1) - Slept in til 12nn reading Why Men Love Bitches in between waking up, reading, falling asleep then waking up and reading again then falling asleep again. Had lunch at Luy's Classic Tea house. Went to S&R after then watched Conjuring at home with the family. Conjuring is too mainstream. I don't get what the hype was all about. It wasn't even scary at all. Had massage with the best masseur, Cleo! What a great night ender!
Monday (September 2) - Today should be the first day of my fitness week but I ended up talking to my best friend on the phone for 2 hours. I miss her so much. Planned to go out for drinks only to end up eating dinner at Phat Pho then grabbed a drink at Dozo then frozen brazo at La Marea after. So much for dieting.
Tuesday (September 3) - Spent the night at my room watching The Devil Wears Prada, (still) reading Why Men Love Bitches and watching Friends with Benefits.
Wednesday (September 4) - Went to Ayala after work to eat Champorado at Tablea! They have the yummiest champorado ever. I'm not even exaggerating. Pigged out the whole day and so I promised Sarah that I will diet the next day and I put our friendship at stake by telling her our friendship will be over if I pig out today. Which is effective because every time I think of food, I remember her and how our friendship means to me. BWAHAHA.
I wish to fill these updates with more workout updates which as of the moment have none. I hope I will be so obsessed with fitness that it'll be all I ever talk about.
This relates to all aspect of my life be it personal, work, social, physical, emotional, psychological, etc etc. My point is that I want to live and try everything before the time comes that I won't be able to do these things anymore. What age more appropriate to do these stuff than now.
I will list down the things I did weekly here in my blog so that one day I can look back and remember what i did in the past and if I was content with the things I did or what else I wanted to do to stop living a routinary lifestyle.
Last week
Sunday (August 25) - Had lunch a Cafe Sarree with the family and impromptu photoshoot. We took a lot of photos that were so nice it made my heart so happy! Had champorado for snack!
Monday (August 26) Bruncher (Breakfast, lunch and dinner) with the family at Tinderbox. Ordered so much that we were surprised with the bill. Went to look at the lot for the future house! The view was breath taking we were all so excited to move to the new "place". We are a little bit too excited because the lot is not even for sale yet.
Tuesday (August 27) - Went out with my client from Manila. Ate dinner at Phat Pho then drinks at Barcode. Saw my friend whom I haven't seen for a year.
Wednesday (August 28) - Went out with the same client for drinks because he had dinner. Had facial appointment and while killing time I decided to have my hair cut. Drinks at Politics.
Thursday (August 29) - Met up again with my client. It's his last night tonight! Had dinner at a cafe. Ordered my ever favorite Buttermilk Fried Chicken with biscuits and gravy. I swear to the constellations that this is my ultimate favorite food as of the moment. We were also with my client's steel supplier. Drinks at Distillery after. By this day, I was already super tired from all the going out at night that I was really tired and sleepy already at 12mn and after 2 amaretto sours. I love amaretto sour! Distillery have pretty nice amaretto sours.
Friday (August 30) - Stayed home to get my much awaited rest night. Slept early!
Saturday (August 31) - Dinner at Mr India with Emmie, Stan, Vanna and JV plus Jon this time. Went to La Vie Parisienne only to find that the place was full so Emmie just bought pastries and we went to IT park to look for a place. All the other places were full and we ended up in Irie. Had one drink before I met up with Val. Val and I went to Dozo to get my new favorite drink, the GPS! We wouldve went to Cable car but the place was packed. Went home at 1am because we wanted to just chill and we're not up for staying out too late.
Sunday (September 1) - Slept in til 12nn reading Why Men Love Bitches in between waking up, reading, falling asleep then waking up and reading again then falling asleep again. Had lunch at Luy's Classic Tea house. Went to S&R after then watched Conjuring at home with the family. Conjuring is too mainstream. I don't get what the hype was all about. It wasn't even scary at all. Had massage with the best masseur, Cleo! What a great night ender!
Monday (September 2) - Today should be the first day of my fitness week but I ended up talking to my best friend on the phone for 2 hours. I miss her so much. Planned to go out for drinks only to end up eating dinner at Phat Pho then grabbed a drink at Dozo then frozen brazo at La Marea after. So much for dieting.
Tuesday (September 3) - Spent the night at my room watching The Devil Wears Prada, (still) reading Why Men Love Bitches and watching Friends with Benefits.
Wednesday (September 4) - Went to Ayala after work to eat Champorado at Tablea! They have the yummiest champorado ever. I'm not even exaggerating. Pigged out the whole day and so I promised Sarah that I will diet the next day and I put our friendship at stake by telling her our friendship will be over if I pig out today. Which is effective because every time I think of food, I remember her and how our friendship means to me. BWAHAHA.
I wish to fill these updates with more workout updates which as of the moment have none. I hope I will be so obsessed with fitness that it'll be all I ever talk about.
Monday, September 2, 2013
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