Confessions of a Drama Queen: Social Life Rant

Maybe I should not dwell on it too much but it so much annoys me that I am stuck here living a social life so different from what I was used to. I have always been an extrovert and for the past 2 years, I tried so much to reach out to different kind of people to make friends and meet new acquaintances. I don't know if it's the city or the people in it or the people I meet but I don't see myself fitting in and for the first time in 2 years, I kind of give up already. I wholeheartedly accepted that I am no longer living a sociable life and that I choose to be anti-social and spend weekends at home socializing with my bff through text/call/whatsapp/twitter. It is actually more fun than me trying to go out and socializing with new people who will only judge me for who I am not. It is so easy to judge other people as it is human nature to be judgmental. I know because I myself is guilty of this and I consider myself an average person. I just hate being judged by people for my preferences and for how I am. It makes me sad and mad at the same time. I know that I'm not even supposed to care about those people but I do. But I'll get over it in no time. I just need some drama in my life so I choose to care for now.

Unusual Craving and a Possible Addiction

I find myself craving for coffee everyday for a week now. It all started midweek last week when I slept late and woke up feeling very tiresome. I had to grab a grande white choco mocha from Starbucks to save myself from that state of calamity and saved I was. I was so happy with my instant recharge that I found myself craving for another cup the next day. The craving was so strong I had to get out of my way to get myself another cup but I got one in venti this time. I was so scared to get addicted to Starbucks' white choco mocha because I obviously wouldn't want to buy myself a cup everyday. I'd like to think I can't afford it. To spend for an overpriced cup of coffee is okay once in a while because let's admit it, they really taste better than the instant coffee available in the market but everyday is just too much.

What's up with this rant anyway? I find it weird that I always grab for a cup of instant coffee around snack time in the morning near lunch. Maybe it's my way to curb my appetite for lunch but hey it works! I'm just bothered by the amount of empty calories that I take in before lunch time but it really works for me. I can only finish half of my lunch when I used to be still really hungry after I finish my lunch. I just have to my a decent instant decaf coffee and low fat milk to cut off on the calories from the packets of instant coffee with gazillion sugars. I just really hate it when I drink empty calories I didn't even really enjoy.

So am I getting addicted to coffee or am I just looking for a sweet substitute? Maybe the latter but I don't really mind. What a useless rant. KBYE

xx,

ANNIE